Observing Valentine’s Day at Church: Focus on God’s Love

Valentine’s Day poses a dilemma for pastors. The love-themed holiday and all its commercial trappings took over store shelves on December 26. Based on conversations and social media posts, love and relationships are on people’s minds this time of year.

But there is plenty of debate about whether Valentine’s Day is appropriate in a Christian setting, so pastors might hesitate to acknowledge it during worship or church events. Ministers are often wary of drifting into consumerism or clichés that fail to reflect these biblical truths: “God is love” (1 John 4:8), and “God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life” (John 3:16).

That greater love is central to the gospel and to our Christian faith. In Scripture — God’s love letter to us — love is the defining mark of God’s character and his people. Valentine’s Day, when handled with loving care, presents opportunities to show and share true love.

Keep reading to learn about the day’s origins, plus pros and cons of observing it at church. Then explore ways to move beyond sentimentality to the substance of Christian love.

A Brief History of Valentine’s Day

Saint Valentine’s Day is traced to several early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The most common link is to a third-century Roman priest who was executed for defying Emperor Claudius II. Tradition holds that St. Valentine secretly performed Christian weddings when marriage was restricted. He also ministered to persecuted believers in ancient Rome and supposedly healed his jailer’s blind daughter.

Historians debate some of those details, so the Catholic Church removed Valentine’s name from an official list of saints. Some people link Valentine to the Roman god Cupid and to Lupercalia, a pagan festival of fertility. But little evidence ties the modern-day celebration on February 14 to a pagan holiday.

Instead, the Christian martyr Valentine is associated with sacrificial love, fidelity and faithfulness. (Interestingly, he’s also the patron saint of beekeepers and people who have epilepsy!) Valentine’s Day gradually merged with romantic traditions and succumbed to commercial pressures. Now Western culture associates February 14 with greeting cards, chocolates, jewelry and marriage proposals.

Those tensions between sacred origins and secular practices shape how pastors and congregants view Valentine’s Day. Let’s look at both sides of the issue.

Arguments in Favor of Observing Valentine’s Day

• Relationships are an important topic. February is a great time to preach and teach on practical matters such as faithfulness, forgiveness and reconciliation.
• People are already thinking about love. From the pulpit, pastors can address topics such as marriage, dating, loneliness, grief and longing. Then you can point people to God’s Word for answers.
• Pastors can offer an alternative. Instead of letting culture define love, the church proclaims Christ’s selfless love for the whole world. Even a brief mention of that redirects people’s thoughts about Valentine’s Day.
• Observing Valentine’s Day affirms various experiences of love. In a church community, all people belong, not just couples. Singles, widows and widowers, divorced individuals, and all types of families and friendships are worthy of love.

Arguments Against Observing Valentine’s Day

• You might hurt or exclude some people. Valentine’s Day can amplify loneliness, grief and relational trauma. A heavy focus on romance might alienate people who are struggling, such as single or divorced individuals who long to be part of a Christian couple.
• It can appear as cultural compromise. Acknowledging Valentine’s Day might blur the line between sacred and secular, shifting attention away from Christ.
• The timing can pose liturgical and calendar concerns. Valentine’s Day often falls close to Transfiguration Sunday (as it does in 2026) and Ash Wednesday, or within Lent. That creates tension between themes of repentance and romance.
• Valentine’s Day events might create a slippery slope. Marking the occasion could lead to other cultural observances that lack theological ties.

When deciding whether (or how) to observe Valentine’s Day, pastors should pray, talk with other church leaders, and be sensitive to a congregation’s needs.

Ideas for Recognizing Valentine’s Day in Church

Pastors who mention or celebrate the Feast of St. Valentine can emphasize God’s sacrificial love. Consider these suggestions:

• Focus on our call to love as God loves us. Build on that theme with New Testament Scripture readings such as John 15:1-17; 1 Corinthians 13; and 1 John 4:7-21.
• Speak about broader love. Don’t assume that everyone is in a romantic relationship. Talk about love in families, friendships, churches and communities.
• Be sensitive in church publications. In your February newsletters and bulletins, use more than just romance-themed artwork. For Valentine art in the context of God’s love, try the images available from our sister publication, ChurchArt Online.
• Offer a brief nod to Valentine’s Day. A short pastoral note, prayer or sermon illustration may be more effective than an entire service with that theme.
• Highlight acts of service. Encourage church members to love others well through generosity and forgiveness. Caring for people who are alone or marginalized makes Valentine’s Day outward focused. Organize an effort to send homebound members a Valentine’s Day card, for example, letting them know their church friends are thinking about them.

Preaching and Teaching About Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day can feel spiritually shallow because popular culture often reduces love to romantic relationships. But Scripture offers a richer vocabulary that Christians can reclaim.

For interesting sermons or Bible studies in February, discuss the different types of love. Pastors can reframe Valentine’s Day to include gratitude for the many forms of affection present within families and congregations:

• Agape. God’s unconditional, sacrificial love is fully revealed in Jesus Christ. “But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). This love isn’t dependent on feelings or merit. Remind worshipers that God’s love precedes, sustains and outlasts every human relationship.
• Phileo. This describes friendship and deep companionship. God calls the church to practice mutual care, hospitality and kindness. For Valentine’s Day, celebrate friendships, small groups, ministry partnerships, fellowship and everyday bonds that sustain Christian community.
• Eros. This refers to courtly love and the romantic love of couples. Scripture treats eros with reverence, not embarrassment (see Song of Songs), always situating it within a covenant of commitment. Pastors can affirm marriage while being sensitive to singles, widows and widowers, and people who have suffered relational wounds.
• Storge. This is shared affection among family members: parents and children, siblings, and extended kin. It offers a foundation of belonging and encourages loyalty.

Another interesting topic for a February sermon or Bible study is the heart symbol. This stylized shape now associated with romantic love is nearly synonymous with Valentine’s Day. But in Scripture, the heart is the seat of devotion and obedience: “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart …” (Deuteronomy 6:5).

What if we swapped the heart symbol for the morning star? That harbinger of dawn represents our risen Lord Jesus (see 2 Peter 1:19 and Revelation 22:16), who strengthens us for living and loving. It’s a great reminder to display those “star” qualities in our own loving relationships. For a deeper look at this symbol of love, check out the February 15 installment “Star Quality,” on Homiletics Online.

Pastors aren’t required to observe Valentine’s Day, but the holiday doesn’t need to be a landmine, either. Many congregations will benefit from biblical insights about God’s love. If you acknowledge Valentine’s Day at church, use Scripture to teach about the depth of God’s love — and how we can share it with others.